Happy Holidays!!

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

~Anonymous

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

~Jay Leno

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

~Anonymous

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. ~Bernard Manning

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.

~Anonymous

Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.

~John Cleese, "Monty Python"

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

~Erma Bombeck